Fear of water or too much confidence: What is the greater risk to children’s safety in water?

Feb 4
5 min read

Parents often believe that fear of water is the biggest problem children face. That’s why many of them come to swimming lessons hoping that fear will be “erased” as quickly as possible. However, after many years of working with babies and young children in the water, I can confidently say this: When it comes to children’s safety in water, too much confidence is often more dangerous than fear.

It sounds paradoxical, doesn’t it?

But yes - it can be more dangerous when a child isn’t afraid of water at all.

Responsibility is greatest when a child is in the water

This text is not meant to scare parents, nor to turn children into shadows of adults while they play in the water. My goal is to offer a slightly different perspective on fear and confidence in water, always with one thing in mind: safety.

Fear of water in children – A natural and useful reaction

Fear of water in babies and young children is not a problem in itself. It is a normal developmental phase and an important protective mechanism.

A child who:

looks for support,
enters the water carefully,
doesn’t immediately let go of the parent,

is showing respect for the environment they are in.

I often ask parents this question: Would you rather have a child who is afraid of water, or a child who believes water has no limits? When guided properly, fear doesn’t hold a child back - it teaches caution.

A child who swims should still have support

A child who has learned to swim and feels confident in the water should enjoy it.That’s exactly how it should be. But children often still cannot accurately assess their abilities or their limits. And that’s okay. That’s why we, as parents, are there - to talk, to explain, and to stay present.Not to restrict freedom, but to be a support until the child learns where the boundaries are in water.

When does fear of water become a problem?

Fear becomes an obstacle only when:

a parent panics,
constantly warns the child,
transfers their own anxiety and sends the message that water itself is dangerous.

In that case, the child doesn’t build a relationship with water - they develop a block.

In baby swimming and early-age swimming, the goal is never to force progress, but to gradually build trust - the child’s trust in water and the parent’s trust in the child.

Too much confidence – A hidden risk to children’s safety in water

The biggest risk doesn’t appear at the beginning, but later.

When a child:

starts swimming independently,
moves on their own,
gains a sense of freedom,

parents tend to relax.

That’s when I often say:“Now you need to be even more careful than before.”

And I usually get that familiar look:“More careful? But he already knows how to swim!”

“He’s not afraid of water at all”

During one lesson, a mother proudly told me about her three-year-old:“

He loves water. He’s not afraid at all - he just jumps in and enjoys himself.”

And it was true. The child jumped, dove, got in and out - completely free and confident in the water. Then, in the middle of play, he made a movement he still couldn’t fully control. He lost balance in the shallow end. Water went into his nose. He choked slightly. A moment of panic followed. His mother was close - but not within arm’s reach.

The situation was resolved quickly, but the message was clear: Confidence in water comes before awareness of limits.

Why do the biggest mistakes come from confidence?

A child who believes they can do everything:

doesn’t recognize fatigue,
doesn’t understand panic,
can’t assess risk.

Water doesn’t distinguish between a child who “knows” and a child who is “just playing.” That’s why, in practice, the most risky situations don’t happen with children who fear water - but with children (and parents) who relax too much.

“Within arm’s reach” – The golden rule of water safety

There’s one sentence I repeat to parents all the time:

There is no relaxing when children are in or around water.

Regardless of:

whether the child “knows how to swim,”
whether it’s a pool, the sea, or even a bathtub,
whether the child is very young or already independent,
whether they are one year old or five.

A parent must be constantly present - both physically and mentally.

One second that makes all the difference

So you don’t think this only happens to others - it happened to me too. With two small children in the water, I’m always alert.But in one moment, I looked away for just one second.

My “little fish,” despite being in the water from a very early age, slipped off the pool steps into the shallow end and flipped over headfirst. I reacted immediately - because I was within arm’s reach.

No panic.

No stress.

No trauma.

That’s the difference between safety and risk.

This is the lesson I repeat again and again: No matter the child’s experience or confidence — and no matter the parent’s confidence — attention in water must be constant. There’s no drinking coffee or reading a book while a child is in the water.

Confidence in water must have boundaries

Confidence is important.From the earliest age, it should be balanced with supervision and the presence of an adult.

With children:

courage comes before experience,
a sense of power comes before understanding danger.

That’s why a parent’s role is to be:

a boundary,
a source of safety,
a point of support.

What does a healthy relationship with water look like?

A healthy relationship with water means a child loves water and enjoys playing, while also understanding that water deserves respect. It’s a child who isn’t afraid -but also doesn’t enter the water thoughtlessly.A child who knows a parent is watching and ready to help if needed. That kind of relationship builds trust in water and a sense of safety - because the child knows they’re not alone.

What matters most when a child is in the water?

When we talk about children’s safety in water, remember this: