What if your child swims, but you don’t? Overcoming parents’ fear of water

Swimming Dad
Sep 27, 2025
3 min read

Your child is in the water, but you don’t know how to swim?

At the pool, the sea, or the lake – it’s not unusual to meet a parent who loves watching their child enjoy the water... but never joins them. Why? Fear. They can’t swim. Or maybe they can just enough to stay afloat – but not enough to feel safe.

Not for themselves, not for their child.

And that’s not a taboo. That’s reality.

But what happens when your child grows up? When inflatable armbands, floaties, and pool noodles no longer mean much? When your child wants to dive, swim, explore, be free… and you can’t keep up – because you’re afraid?

A mom who chose to face her fear of water

One mom I know, in her early 30s, had always been afraid of water. She wasn’t traumatized. She just feared deep water. Even ferries and boats made her uneasy. So for years, she let her daughter enjoy the water – safely wrapped in floaties or lying on an inflatable mattress.

I once asked her, “What if the float deflates? What if the armbands slip off? What if you or your husband can’t reach her – because neither of you can swim?”She had no answer.

Until one day she called me. She had decided to do something. Not just for herself, but for her daughter. She didn’t jump into swimming lessons right away – instead, she took baby steps, slowly getting comfortable in the water with proper support and guidance.

Why do parents stay out of the water?

Here are some of the most common reasons:

Fear of losing control – “What if I fall in and can’t get out?”
Childhood trauma – bad experiences, near-drowning, or failed attempts at learning to swim.
Lack of trust – in equipment, or in themselves.
Shame – “I’m over 30 and still can’t swim – that’s embarrassing.”

But here’s the bigger loss: staying on the shore while your child takes their first steps into the water... and you’re not there to share it.

Swimming without fear

After talking it through, the mom swapped the mattress and floaties for a simple pool noodle – that bendy float that offers freedom but also challenges balance. With it, she didn’t just stand in the shallow end – she started practicing breathing, balance, and staying calm in the water.

One year later – with professional support – she was no longer afraid of deep water. And more importantly, her daughter noticed.

She looked at her mom and said,“Mom, I want to swim without floaties too. Just like you.” Now they swim together, laugh together – in pools, lakes, rivers, even the sea. No fear. No inflatable gear. Just the two of them – swimming side by side.

Be the role model in the water

Kids learn by watching. If you’re afraid of water, they’ll feel it – even if you never say it out loud. But if you show courage – even when it’s hard – they’ll do the same.

So parents:

If you don’t know how to swim – start learning. For your child. And for yourself.
Use floats that help you progress (like a noodle or kickboard) – not ones that keep you stuck.
Get involved – even if it means standing in the shallow end and being present.
Ask for help – from an instructor. It’s not weakness. It’s responsibility.
Give yourself time – it’s never too late to learn. NEVER.

Swimming is a journey

As your child grows in the water, you need to grow too – overcome the fear that’s keeping you on dry land. A parent who dares to dive in, even at 40+, sends the strongest message:“There’s nothing to be afraid of. If I can do it – you can too.”

It won’t be easy. It won’t happen overnight. But try.

From shore to the deep – together

That mom didn’t start swimming for herself. She did it for her daughter. And along the way – they both found something beautiful. The joy of water. Without fear. Without floaties. Just smiles.

So if your child loves the water, and you don’t know how to swim...That’s not the end – it’s your new beginning.

Because life is better – when you are swimming!